Stitches
by Griffinkhan
Summary: [Oneshot] Maybe Dist was a stupid, rotten, friendless, ugly, snotty, poor excuse for a human being, but...


_A.N: Spoilers for Anise's backstory and the Nebilim sidequest. _

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Stitches

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She hadn't so much wanted to become a Fon Master Guardian as she was press-ganged into it. It was either that or become a groundswoman, sweeping up the litter that gathered on the massive cathedral floor and hosing down the monuments outside. Her family was indebted to Mohs and that meant everyone had to work, even the scrawny, pigtailed, short-for-her-age seven year old girl.

So instead of becoming a laborer she went to the primary level of the officer's school, meeting deep beneath the cathedral in the Oracle Knight headquarters. She learned about fonons and the Score and Lorelei, and trained to become the perfect soldier. Her prowess with darkness artes was unparalleled in her class and she soon became the darling of the young soldiers, outshone only by the brilliant light that was Arietta.

But Anise was still a child and still weak. Guardians were supposed to guard, but her artes were long range and up close she would be torn to pieces by blades or claws of the enemies she would face. Arietta had her monsters to do the fighting for her—Anise was on her own. They told her to keep growing and apply in another seven years.

After that, she had walked to the cafeteria, feeling miserable and sorry for herself and hugging that ratty stuffed toy she had made. She had always loved stuffed animals but her parents could never afford the fluffy faux-fur bears and rabbits and rappigs that lined posh store windows. So she made them herself, from scraps of old dresses and cheap cloth she bought at discount shops, stitching together Frankensteins of cuddly love in the darkness of her bedroom. She called them her Tokunagas, and their demented smiling visages represented the turmoil in her soul.

It was this that caught his eye, or perhaps he had caught hers first. But whatever the case, she had found herself drawn to the corner of the room where that odd man she had seen hanging about the headquarters was hunched over a small table, spurning the cafeteria chairs in favor of utilizing his own floating armchair. She sat beside him and introduced herself and Tokunaga. He looked startled for a moment, but then introduced himself as well—Dist the Rose, one of the God-Generals. She was sure she'd heard him referred to as Dist the Reaper before, but didn't say anything.

Thus began a rather strange friendship. The middle-aged man and the little girl would meet at lunchtime, discussing their lives and the world around them. It ended up being him doing most of the talking while she and Tokunaga listened. He told her he had been a scientist before becoming a God-General, living in a snowy village far from here and researching things probably better left unknown. He had friends, then... a red-eyed man far more brilliant than he, whose talent had eventually gotten him adopted by a powerful military family; the man's sister, as opposite from him as it was possible to be, and even the young Emperor himself. Anise got the impression that he missed these friends very much, especially the one called Jade. She asked why he didn't go visit them and Dist's face hardened and he simply said that it wasn't possible anymore.

This had continued for several months when Dist appeared one lunchtime with a white cardboard box. Inside was a Tokunaga, its material far more lavish than what she was used to. She had just stared at it lying in the box in complete awe before Dist told her that this was a special Tokunaga, and it would help her become a Fon Master Guardian. She hadn't understood what he meant until she picked it up and held it. An electric tingle ran through her arm and she suddenly felt like she _was_ Tokunaga, like it was an extension of herself as much as her arms and legs were. She soon found that she could make it grow in size by a mere thought, controlling its movements with her mind. The material was tough and though it was made of fluff, the doll was surprisingly forceful when she made it slam into something. Using a combination of artes and skill she was soon able to wield Tokunaga as an efficient weapon, riding high on its back as she barreled through hordes of training dummies. Dist's present transformed her from a timid mage to a front-line fighter, capable of taking on even the strongest of warriors. They let her into the Guardians. Anise was elated and thanked Dist with a hug that left him blushing.

She was eleven now, and then came the best moment of her life—Arietta was being transferred from her post of senior Fon Master Guardian to become one of the God-Generals. They had to pick a replacement from the ranks... and Mohs chose Anise.

Anise knew the decision was probably not because of her battle prowess but because she was a convenient spy; Mohs asked her to report everything the Fon Master did to him. But she didn't care. Even if she did have to spy on Ion, she was still his Guardian and she would protect him with all the strength she had. Two years passed happily, and she became very fond of the young boy. He was naïve and too trusting and allowed others to use him far too often, but his meek demeanor was coupled with a strong sense of justice and that was very endearing. She found herself almost forgetting she was indebted to Mohs when she was with him.

Then one day the God-Generals began acting oddly. Even Dist wouldn't talk to her anymore, brushing her off in the lunchroom, ignoring her in the halls. She was lost and hurt that her friend would act this way. What was going on? Mohs pulled her aside and told her to watch Ion more carefully, that he was getting into matters that he shouldn't be bothering with. Anise didn't understand but nodded in assent anyway.

Then Ion went to speak with the Emperor. Peony was worried that war was about to break out, and wanted to have Ion as a mediator between Malkuth and Kimlasca. Ever-helpful Ion agreed, and Anise did as well—until Mohs told her that the treaty was not to be signed and to continue telling him everything Ion did. He had her parents, so Anise was forced to agree, but she did so with a heavy heart and refused to hinder Ion's efforts directly.

It was on this mission when Anise first met Jade. At first, she did not recognize him as the same person from Dist's stories. The God-General seemed to have painted the other man with a somewhat rosy view, omitting the biting sarcasm he favored and his cold professionalism in battle. But he was a soldier, after all, and that was to be expected. She probably should have connected the pieces earlier, though, as when she mentioned Dist to Jade his face hardened in exactly the same way the God-General's had earlier and he changed the subject.

In spite of that, however, she found herself liking Jade, becoming drawn to the older man in much the same way she had been to Dist. The Colonel was smart, strong, and had his own unique sense of humor, and she respected him immensely. Not so much respect was had for the next person she met on their journey, Luke. He was a spoiled brat, and a jerk; but he was also very rich and therefore she chased after him. She did soon realize that there was something nice underneath that exterior, though it was very difficult to spot. He didn't have the same endearing softness as Ion, but Anise felt that with time he could reform.

Of course, all that went out the window at Akzeriuth. The way the redhead whined, complained, and carried on afterward gave her a sick feeling in her stomach. She didn't blame him for destroying the city; someone so sheltered as he couldn't possibly be expected to understand what he was doing, but the way he acted afterward made her lose all faith in him. She reacted by lashing out, saying things she would later regret but that she truly meant at the time. Perhaps a bit of her anger was fear for herself. If the others could drop Luke from their circle of friends so easily, what would happen to her when her traitorous colors were exposed? What would the Colonel think? What would Ion think?

And she would be exposed, sooner or later, she knew, though she hadn't expected it to be in such a tragic fashion. Ion was dead, and it was her fault. She knew the green-haired boy would never have blamed her, but it was still her fault. She expected the others to reject her, turn their backs on her like they had to Luke. But they did not. Even the Colonel, most cynical of them all, just shrugged and forgave her. This made Anise both happy and very guilty. She didn't deserve their friendship and forgiveness, she deserved to be kicked from the group and outcast forever for her betrayal of Ion—but still, she was not sad that it hadn't happened.

The situation made Anise understand why Dist was so obsessed with winning back Jade's friendship. She didn't know what she would do if she ever lost it herself. The colonel may be snide and sarcastic and cynical sometimes to the point where she wanted to kick him into orbit like Luke was always doing to Dist but still, he was always nice to her in his own way. Losing that support... losing the support of any of the group members, really—was something she didn't even want to contemplate. They'd become an irreplaceable part of her life.

She'd sometimes compared her life to a Tokunaga—a series of mismatched, secondhand scraps scavenged from other things and people, stitched together as best she could. She'd had to build her identity from her parents' mistakes and the expectations of others. Before, she'd seen that as a bad thing. It was bad to not be whole, to be dependent, to have no part of her for herself. But now she could see that connections were the most important part of life. No one was truly independent—they were all sewn to others with various types of threads. However, it was up to her to choose which bonds to keep and which to cut. It was she who took the many pieces that made up her existence and crafted them into something worthwhile.

It was for this reason that she couldn't bring herself to hate Dist. She couldn't hate him, despite all the horrible things he'd done, despite that it was his fault that crazed replica had been unleashed and killed him. And so she stood up to Nebilim and told her so. Maybe Dist was, as she'd claimed, a stupid, rotten, friendless, ugly, snotty, poor excuse for a human being, but he'd made it possible for her to meet Ion, to meet Jade and Luke and all the others who were so dear to her now. He'd given her the missing piece of her Tokunaga. And for that, she'd always be grateful, and hold him dear as another of the stitches that criss-crossed her heart.

Anise climbed onto Tokunaga, her staff in hand and a fonic glyph beginning to assemble at her feet. Her enemy was before her and her friends were behind—and at this moment in time, that was all that mattered.

_-end _

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End file.
